The Setup: Surprise Results…That Was Not Too Surprising

Let’s rewind to a few months ago when my doctor gave an update – “abnormal” cells from a routine pap smear. Surprised – no? When you have experienced cancer in close family members, you become aware that genetics may screw with you at any time. That marked the beginning of what I like to call my health odyssey. Tests, scans, and a whole lot of poking, feeling like a Thanksgiving turkey, and prodding followed, leading me to the grand finale – surgery. I should say, that I am no stranger to this, having been diagnosed with Lupus in 2009 and various health adventures since then. But this one, for whatever reason, was even more tiring. Perhaps, it’s my age (I am not a spring chicken anymore…more like a summer chicken), or maybe all my responsibilities now versus then. Still, I can honestly say, I was not worried or afraid at this point. I had to coach myself, walk my walk, and pull out every self-management technique in my bag…and it worked.

However, today as I walked into the operating room, nerves and yes, a bit of fear were my plus-ones. But there was also trust – trust in my skilled surgeon (my doctor who along the way ensured I was aware of everything that concerned me) and the team about to tackle the multiple abnormal growths in my body; that have been the cause of some pain and discomfort.  I would say it’s been a pain in the #$$, but that would have been a different diagnosis. If you follow me on Instagram, you know the drill – the ups, the downs, and the candid snapshots of life’s unexpected turns.

Meeting In The Waiting Room: Lessons From A Pre-Op Chat

Cut to the pre-op waiting room this morning, a space where personal stories collide. There, I bumped into a former colleague, who looked like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Amidst my medical haze, life handed me a lesson – everyone is going through something.

While I was doing my prep, he had lost a loved one. Right there. Right then. What made it worse, was that he could not yet begin his natural grief process, as he first was being subjected to all the admin red tape, that has no place in this moment.

Now, amid my own medical haze, I got a stark reminder – everyone is dealing with something. In the chaos of life, from work pressures to financial struggles, we’re all just human. However, when we step back and find perspective, we discover grace for others and, importantly, for ourselves.

At that moment, I chose to embody my coaching principles – empathy, meeting the person where they are, humanity, and my mantra – it’s not about me. He was dealing with the unexpected passing of his loved one, a situation that eclipsed my fears and discomfort. I let him share, allowing silence, and refrained from making it about my impending surgery. Instead, when I saw the situation could benefit from a bit of “I understand”, I shared a bit of something similar I experienced with the hospital that he was relating to; and suggested he focus on his father, take his mom home, and forget about the hospital admin right then. He got up and went over to the admin desk to communicate that he was leaving.

This encounter was a small chapter of the broader lesson – life is a mix of shared experiences, and empathy bridges the gaps between our individual stories.

Life’s messiness, work pressures, and financial struggles make us humanly imperfect. Like having road rage when we are late, dealing with office politics, confronting what we think is rude customer service, complaining about that co-worker is always so negative, or those frustrations we get worked up over at home. But finding grace for others and ourselves in the midst of it all is crucial. It’s a lesson in removing ego from conversations and making space for understanding and compassion.

Everytime we interact with someone, they may be going through something…like us.

Life’s Reality Check: From Boardrooms To Operating Rooms

Enter the operating room, where gowns replace power suits, and vulnerability takes center stage. I got this in a big way when I had my son via C-section. Life has a way of reminding us of the need to stay down to earth. Whether you are C-Suite or entry-level, we are all human when it comes to our health.

As I lay on the operating table, a team of professionals with a front-row seat to my most private parts, tube down my throat, totally unconscious, the irony wasn’t lost on me. In moments like this, you have no filters to improve the look, no editing tools, no VIPs in there with you, and no brand-name gowns (they’re all ugly and your butt cheeks will hang out). At that moment, your doctor is the only influencer that matters. Life’s message is crystal clear – humility is not a choice; it’s a fundamental aspect of our shared humanity. It’s the great equalizer that transcends social standing and circles of influence

Image – Taken after waking up for the 3rd time and now feeling ready to leave. I am not smiling to pretend everything is okay, I am smiling because it could be worse and I can

The Aftermath: Alive, Thankful And Nudging Towards Change

Now, as I navigate the post-surgery landscape, I’m alive, in some pain (nothing compared to a C-section, though!), and overwhelmingly thankful. Thankful for the support of those people who knew when to message, not to be overbearing, when to simply offer supportive words, and when to back away. Thankful to have a partner who speaks in his love language, by stepping up, showing up as needed, and doing what needs to be done. Grateful. Thankful for the moments of vulnerability that sparked connections, and the ability to rest and recover.

I carry with me the echoes of shared human experiences, the lessons of empathy, and the wisdom gained from the operating room’s unspoken truths; including Six Lessons & Reminders From My Surgery, which I will share with you later. The journey continues, and with each step, the path becomes clearer – a trajectory guided by health, gratitude, and the ever-unfolding narrative of the human experience.

Hi there, if you got any value from this post, then please let me know in the comments, and let’s connect! I’m TRYING to spend more time on social media lately, Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin. I know it matters to many, and it can be so powerful, so if you’re on there then let’s connect…but it’s a lot of work isn’t itThe truth is, I love meaningful connections, so if you want to get in on some things I keep for my special circle, then be sure to join my mailing list. Here’s one link with everything or scan the code to make it super easy! Sharlene.

I recently found myself knee-deep in a venture I never expected to take on – helping my 7-year-old son publish his first book. What began as a whimsical idea, almost one year ago, turned into a rollercoaster of challenges, surprises, and long nights.

However, I must admit that it also reminded me of some valuable lessons.

As we continue to roll out his book, I find myself thinking of seven things I learned from the experience, that make sense in every other aspect of my not-so-simple life.

Now let me just say this, I think of myself as a problem solver. I always try to focus on finding a solution, like I tell my team “Call the ambulance, then the police”. In other words, let’s fix it and then we can discuss what went wrong, why, and who needs to step up. I am also very proud that through my agency and consulting, I get paid for ideation. Providing my 2 cents that leads to someone making so much more than that, is well worth my price. You see ideas, that are linked to strategy, consumer insight, and even some well-thought-out execution suggestions can save businesses and busy people time, which we all know is valuable. I do that!

So when I jumped into my son’s book, I thought I would just read up online, maybe take up a course, and be able to apply everything easily. With the goal of launching almost 6 months prior to when we actually launched, I did not think this ‘small’ project would require a lot. I was wrong.

Why This Book Mattered.

My son came up with this story over fries one day after school when his teacher had started teaching fiction in Writer’s Workshop class. I suggested he could turn it into a book, more so to encourage him to consider possibilities outside of his current view. I wanted to plant the seed that you can do wonderful things with your creativity and show him all the options at his disposal from an early age…and so it began.

You can learn more about Michael’s book here

My 7 Lessons:

1. Seek Guidance, Even If You Think You Know It All:

Sure, I’ve got a diverse skill set, including marketing expertise, but diving into the world of book publishing was an entirely different beast. Lesson one: Don’t let your ego get in the way. I sought guidance from individuals who had been down this road before, acknowledging that everyone starts as a beginner. Coaches need coaches right? The insights and advice I received were priceless.

Now picture this – you’re at work, faced with a project that’s like deciphering hieroglyphics (not pointing fingers, but Business Analysts and supply teams….I’m looking at you). It’s tempting to rely on your own know-how, but seeking advice from seasoned colleagues is like unlocking a treasure chest of insights. Their guidance is the secret sauce to making the task more manageable.

2. Trust Yourself and Do What’s Right for You:

Amid the chaos of deadlines and external pressures, I held onto my core principle: Do what’s right for me. Balancing multiple commitments, I learned to filter out the noise and stay true to my instincts. This project was about my son’s dream, but it was also about maintaining my sanity and sense of self amidst the chaos.

It’s the same thing we face daily. Everyone is expecting something from you, but you can only do so much. Even with all the wonderful guidance we may get, it is paramount that we maintain control of our boundaries.

3. Leverage Your Strengths:

Where I had expertise, I leaned on it heavily. Marketing, project management, and organization became my allies. I didn’t hesitate to use my skills where I could, even in a completely new territory.

Think of an everyday situation, maybe planning an activity at home. Your knack for organization, honed through years of managing work projects, becomes the conductor’s wand, turning chaos into harmony. Or we have all experienced having to work on teams, where maybe everyone is an expert and does not hesitate to let it be known. It is easy to feel insecure about your own abilities. This is where we need to tap into what makes us unique and what we do without breaking a sweat. Avoid trying to ‘compete’ or be recognized for everything. Focus on what you bring. When in doubt, go back to what you know.

4. Stay Focused on the Why:

Amidst the whirlwind of tasks and unexpected challenges, I recognized the moments where I could have been derailed. How often does this happen in our daily lives? I always say “Stay focused on the focus”. I reminded myself of the “why” – I promised my son we’d make his book a reality. His innocence and excitement became my anchor, a reminder of the true goal when the process became overwhelming.

At work, amidst tight deadlines and office politics, keeping the focus on your career goals and personal growth acts as a compass, guiding you through the storm. We need to keep our WHY front of mind. I have found, admittedly with age, that not every battle is worth fighting; and there are times it is worth putting up even with the uncomfortable parts.

5. Be Prepared to Go It Alone, Sometimes:

As ironic as it sounds, when it came down to the nitty-gritty work, my 7-year-old, the instigator of this project, was nowhere to be found. Even when you may have people around you, remember Lesson #1? You will still find times when you feel like you are the one stuck in the battle. Their busy lives will take over or maybe you just can’t rely on them. Lesson five: Be prepared to go it alone, even in projects that begin as joint endeavours….don’t take it personally. Recognize when it happens and find your plan B. Ensure your intentions are pure, and the journey will be worthwhile.

6. You Get What You Pay For:

Ah, the topic about value; in my case the freelancer dilemma. So working on a budget, I decided to go the affordable route initially, only to realize that you truly get what you pay for. In hindsight, some of these decisions ended up costing me more; more time, more money, more moments of peace. Stressful interactions and subpar work became a headache.

We are constantly faced with these decisions when P&Ls, KPIs, and budgets are the talk of the town. The saying “penny wise, pound foolish” always comes to mind. Sometimes, investing a bit more upfront saves you from headaches and disappointment down the road.

7. Patience is More Than a Virtue – It’s a Necessity:

Patience has never been one of my strengths….coming up with solutions, yes – but not patience. Publishing a book takes time, and when you’re dealing with a 7-year-old’s rollercoaster emotions; you realize just how much of that P word you need.  The process demanded waiting, revising, and waiting some more. Lesson seven: Patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s an absolute necessity.

Helping my son publish his first book was a journey filled with unexpected turns and valuable lessons. Through seeking guidance, trusting myself, leveraging my strengths, staying focused on the why, being prepared to go it alone sometimes, understanding you get what you pay for, and embracing patience, I not only fulfilled a promise to my son but also gained insights that extend far beyond the world of publishing. Whether you’re contemplating a creative project or simply navigating the challenges of parenthood, these lessons might come in handy.

Now some may say that patience is not a topic for the corporate world, when in every weekly report we are expected to deliver NOW, and even when challenges are well known, you still get the “so these are challenges, BUT what can you do” statements. You wonder, in a world where there seems to be no time to ‘build up’, how do we communicate the need to exercise patience to those making the demands?

Helping my son publish his first book was a journey filled with unexpected turns and valuable lessons. So far the support has been awesome from multiple press features and even his first review! As we look to the next phases, this first project has given me invaluable knowledge, especially from all the things that I struggled with.

Through seeking guidance, trusting myself, leveraging my strengths, staying focused on the why, being prepared to go it alone sometimes, understanding you get what you pay for, and embracing patience, I not only fulfilled a promise to my son but also gained insights that extend far beyond the world of publishing. Whether you’re contemplating a creative project or simply navigating the challenges of parenthood, these lessons might come in handy.

I would love to hear if any of these resonate with you, or if you experienced the same with any BIG ideas. If you want to see the final product, you can see it all on his website www.skinnersworld.com – (yes, my 7-year-old has a website, welcome to the new age, sigh.)

Cheers to unexpected adventures and the wisdom they bring!

Hi there, if you got any value from this post, then please let me know in the comments, and let’s connect! I’m TRYING to spend more time on social media lately, Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin. I know it matters to many, and it can be so powerful, so if you’re on there then let’s connect…but it’s a lot of work isn’t itThe truth is, I love meaningful connections, so if you want to get in on some things I keep for my special circle, then be sure to join my mailing list. Here’s one link with everything or scan the code to make it super easy! Sharlene.

PS – If you are interested in seeing what all the chaos was about, you can check out Michael’s book here along with all the other things we’ve been working on.

1. Embrace the Chaos:

Life is not a well-choreographed dance; it’s more like a freestyle rap battle…or an awkward line dance that you have never heard of before but get thrown into. Embrace the chaos, roll with the punches, and dance like nobody’s watching….better yet, dance like a 4-year-old. The more I let go of the need for control, the more joy I found in the unpredictable rhythms of life.

2. Drawing Boundaries Between Work and Life:

In the age of constant connectivity, drawing a clear line between our professional and personal lives has become increasingly challenging. Technology blurs the boundaries, making it tempting to let work seep into every aspect of our existence. However, it’s crucial to resist this encroachment. You are not defined solely by your job title. While the demands of the professional sphere may be relentless, it’s essential to delineate your identity from your career. At the end of the day, your job is a part of your life, not your entire life. Take deliberate steps to separate the two, finding a balance that allows you to thrive in both worlds. After all, a fulfilling life extends beyond the confines of the office, and preserving that space is vital for your well-being.

3. The Power of Saying “No”….and nothing else:

Ah, the sweet liberation of saying “no” without guilt and without the apologetic explanation. In my late 30s, I learned that my time and energy are precious commodities. Saying “no” doesn’t make me selfish; it makes me self-aware. It’s about setting boundaries and preserving the magic words for things that truly matter. No is a complete sentence.

4. Mom Guilt is a Myth: Mom Guilt is a Real Thing, But it Shouldn’t Be:

As a mother, I understand the weight of mom guilt all too well. Society can make us feel like we’re not doing enough, doing too much, or not doing it right….you just can’t please everyone. But here’s the truth – mom guilt is a real thing, but it shouldn’t be. Embrace imperfection, acknowledge the effort you put in, and remember that a happy and fulfilled you is the greatest gift you can give to your children. Let go of the guilt, and cherish the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

5. Confidence is Magnetic:

Navigating a male-dominated industry taught me the power of confidence. It’s not about arrogance but a quiet assurance in your abilities. Stand tall, speak your truth, and let your confidence be the magnetic force that draws opportunities your way.

6. Friendships Need Maintenance: Friendships Shouldn’t Feel Like Work:

In the intricate dance of life, friendships should be a source of joy, not an additional task on your to-do list. Cultivate relationships that feel effortless, where conversations flow and laughter comes naturally. Be mindful of those who demand more than they give, as true friendships thrive on mutual support and understanding. Choose friends wisely, and let your social circle be a place of genuine connection and shared happiness.

7. Vulnerability is Strength:

It takes strength to be vulnerable, and vulnerability breeds connection. Share your fears, admit your mistakes, and open your heart. In my 30s, I discovered that true strength lies in authenticity.

8. Celebrate Small Wins:

Amidst the big goals and grand aspirations, don’t forget to celebrate the small wins. Life is a series of moments, and each victory, no matter how small, deserves a toast. Cheers to progress, no matter how incremental!

9. Laughter really is the Best Medicine:

Life can be tough, but laughter is a universal remedy. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, find joy in the little things, and remember that a good laugh can brighten even the darkest days. Most importantly, learn to laugh at yourself or even better by yourself. Sure, someone watching may think you’ve gone bonkers….but who cares?

10. There is power in reflection:

As I closed the chapter on my 30s and stepped into my early 40s a couple of years ago, I found myself immersed in the profound journey of self-awareness. It was during this time that I discovered the true power of reflection. In the pursuit of understanding the depths of self-awareness, I took deliberate steps to empower myself.

I went full in with learning as much as I could. After my first professional coaching training, I delved into the world of self-awareness coaching, driven by a desire to unlock and uncover its secrets. The revelation, however, was that there is no secret. The key lies in self-reflection, a practice that has proven to be one of the most potent gifts one can give oneself.

I firmly believe that self-awareness, coupled with intentional reflection on who you are, what you do, and what truly defines you, is an unrivaled source of personal power. Self-awareness can take away the power anyone can have over you.

Closing Thoughts:

So there you have it, ten nuggets of wisdom I stumbled upon, or in some cases crashed into over the years. Birthdays are not just a marker of time but an opportunity for self-discovery. As you’re reading this, I encourage you to reflect on your own journey. What have you learned? What surprises are waiting for you in the next chapter? Life is an ever-evolving story, and the best chapters are often the ones we least expect. Here’s to embracing the unknown and making every year a celebration of growth, love, and laughter. Cheers to you, and happy exploring!